Ho Hum! Its two years now, and time for a long retrospective look of the roads I have travelled and the time I have spent, in this much vaunted, but sub-optimally efficient profession called - the Big C - C.O.N.S.U.L.T.I.N.G. Time was, around 2001, when the word 'Consulting' meant having doors closed on your face, hushed whispers behind your back. And that was before, the era of benevolence ranging between the mid-eighties till the late nineties when 'Consulting' was used as an excuse to engage a beleagured business prospect (read - client), on a long-winded assignment, with PowerPoint slides invidiously being used to prophesy to them, should first of all, we not be engaged, or horrors of horrors, our recommendations be not taken on board at the end of the engagement (I use the word 'we' to loosely describe the entire flock of well-minded consultants).
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Personally speaking, the two years have taught me a lot - about LIFE. Some golden phrases that come to mind are - 'Look before you leap', 'Keep your mouth cleverly shut' ( i.e. when your seniors fall over themselves to aggrandize themselves with the client), ' Do not snicker at a report during review' (howsoever hilarious the recommendations might be), 'As soon as you enter a new job, get your CV ready for the next switch', ' value-addition is for the long haul' (everyone knows that the client is only looking for the brand). And the word that has acquired an altogether different meaning is 'Chargeability'.
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I have been away from the country on two different occassions, both turned out okay ( I managed to come back). I also managed to salvage my marriage despite a 9 month long telephonic relationship. Had occassion to do the whole chip butty, beer thingy. Take-aways from these trips have been to the most degree ... well...immense (Chinese food in an authentic environment, sadly does not end in Chow-mein , you never 'intimate a client' about a meeting, since taking a relatoinship to that level would be going beyond the call of duty, 'when four out of five people look towards you in your group at the pub, it means that it is your turn to buy the drink').
Quality of advice - if we had a trip meter to measure this metric, we would rap it twice every time at the end of the assignment - wondering if there was a problem with the thingummy especially since it was still lying at zero. You have also wondered why sometimes the needle is trying its best to go the other way (below zero) - surely something wrong with the car (you furtively check up the company's website to check how long your company has been consulting for the client).
Gap analysis - usually is a very rewarding assignment (for the consultant) - its like going back to college, only this time you get paid per hour for learning everything about the industry, making small talk while continuing your education with the reverent top-shots of the organization, and generally feeling very good about your calling in life (call it almost gloating) whenever you see your charge-out rate.
All in all time was, when I used to consider the industry with a certain amount of trepidation. I guess, the time has now come, to allow the clients to do all the worrying.
Suggested reading -
'Rip-Off'
'How Management Consultants Steal Your Watch and Tell You The Time'
